Zero Tolerance
by GlassSuicune
Summary: Zero's mad at a squirrel, Harpuia can't seem to fly into a pipe, Leviathan's screaming and running like a maniac, and Fefnir's just watching everything. Phantom doesn't get what happened when all is said and done. Might be a crack-fic, not sure.


Zero Tolerance by GlassSuicune

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. Anyways, this is based on a really weird dream I had last night, and I decided to scare people with the inner workings of my 'dreams' combined with my brain. Please note that I have not played the MegaMan Zero series yet, so what I know comes from what I've seen/read/etc. But then again, this story is supposed to make no sense, so meh.

Zero stared at the red, robotic squirrel in the tree above him.

The squirrel stared back, holding its robotic acorn in an attack stance.

There was silence.

"Try it and you're...!" Zero started, right as the squirrel dropped the acorn on his head, which happened to not have its helmet for some reason or another.

_Bonk!_

Zero blinked and felt his head, wincing as he touched the spot the acorn hit, knowing there'd probably be a bruise later. He then narrowed his eyes at the squirrel, who simply chirped in a mocking manner. "Did you just call me stupid?!" Zero shrieked. The squirrel chirped its response again, and Zero's normally blue eyes turned a deadly crimson.

"That's IT! I'M COMING UP THERE!!!"

Zero activated his saber and his helmet magically appeared. The Legendary Reploid then proceeded to climb up the tree after the squirrel, who was laughing like a maniac. The squirrel then realized it was being pursued and promptly ran down the tree, much to Zero's annoyance. "STUPID SQUIRREL!!!" he screamed, jumping down and running after it.

_Meanwhile..._

Harpuia glared at the tree-pipe-thing similar to pipes from the Mario series. He had been trying unsuccessfully to fly into it for some reason, and was becoming pretty mad about it. "Listen you...you...PIPE!" he cried, "I am going to fly into you and reach the other side! YOU CANNOT STOP ME!!!" He then felt rather triumphant for scolding the inanimate object. He then jumped at it again, but his 'wings' would not serve him, and he landed on his behind for the millionth time.

"SQUIRREL!!! GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT!!!"

"Wha?" Harpuia inquired, standing up and turning around, only to get knocked straight into the pipe by an angry Zero, who was chasing after a robotic squirrel. Harpuia squirmed, trying to get out of the pipe, when realization hit him. "I made it! I'M IN THE PIPE!!!" he cried, over-joyed. He then looked upward and his pupils promptly shrank. There was a blue robotic spider with guns on its legs staring at him menacingly. "Uh..." he started, grinning innocently, "...Nice spider...?"

While Harpuia squirmed and pleaded, Leviathan was running around screaming while holding a rather large chocolate cake. She crashed into Zero, but got up and continued running and screaming like a maniac. The cake was unharmed. Zero groaned and then decided to tackle her, getting her attention. "Erm... What?" the female Reploid inquired, having been brought back to her senses. "Leviathan, what is with the scre-SQUIRREL!!!" Zero then bolted off after the squirrel, never finishing his sentence. Leviathan blinked stupidly, then looked at her cake, whose icing depicted a sea monster. Leviathan's eyes widened in terror and she ran off screaming again, the cake still in her hands.

"Somebody help me!" Harpuia cried, his voice muffled. The spider was charging its guns now, agitated at the green Reploid. "SOMEBODY!!!" Harpuia screamed, closing his eyes in anticipation of the blow that would be dealt. Fefnir was sitting in a lawn chair, drinking some lemonade. He heard Harpuia's pleadings and promptly said, "Boy does he have the wrong number..."

"SQUIRREL!!!" Zero screamed, still in hot pursuit of the squirrel. The squirrel promptly jumped on the pipe, and Zero slashed it in half, freeing Harpuia unintentionally. The Tom and Jerry impersonators then ran off somewhere else. Harpuia opened his eyes and realized the glorious reality. "I'm free!" he cried, then he realized there was still pipe surrounding him and pinning his arms to his sides, "Never mind..." Fefnir only laughed.

"Waaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!" Leviathan screamed in sheer terror, near tears. She ran right through Harpuia and Fefnir, and continued on. Zero was still chasing the squirrel and making a complete fool of himself. As this insanity was happening, the Reploids somehow failed to notice the huge UFOs hovering above them. After a few minutes, beams of light were sent down from the UFOs and promptly abducted the unaware Earthlings. The UFOs then left the planet.

Now, for all you animal lovers out there, the squirrel's just fine. It didn't get abducted. Same with the cake.

Phantom suddenly walked out of a ginormous Plot Hole, and noticed the disaster area. "What in Bananaville happened here?!" he shrieked, grabbing his head. He then noticed the squirrel, the demolished pipe, the cake, and the lawn chair. After a long silence, he finally inquired, "Do I even wanna know?!"

Note: Okay, that was just...not normal, even for me. Anyways, the dream involved Zero chasing a robotic squirrel because it threw an acorn at him, Harpuia was trying to fly into a tree-pipe but couldn't, Leviathan was screaming for no reason, and then aliens abducted them. So, I added the cake, spider, Fefnir, and Phantom to this story. Why? Because I can. XD Anyways, please no flames. I know this was stupid.


End file.
